Sorry, I don’t speak ‘Canadian’

Posted: October 10, 2007 in Blog

Setting: Newsroom, this afternoon

Scene: Writing a story, listening to The Weakerthans on my headphones when I notice a reporter speaking to me. Taking out my earphones, I turn to her.

Reporter, pulling out her notebook: Chris, I want you to write down some typical greetings in Canada.

Chris: Huh?

Reporter: You know, like how you say hello in ‘Canadian’.

Chris: Huh?

Reporter: How do you greet people in your local language?

Chris, finally catching on, smiling: Um, well usually with things like “Hello” and “How are you?”

Reporter, looking confused: No, no, I mean your local language.

Chris: We don’t have local languages. The national languages are English and French.

Reporter, even more confused: You don’t have tribes?

Chris: *Insert lengthy explanation of the history of Native Canadians, their tribes, languages and how modern-day Canadian society formed following the arrival of Europeans*

Reporter: Oh. So what language do you speak at home?

Chris: English.

Reporter, scrunching her nose and looking disappointed: That’s no fun.

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Comments
  1. John says:

    Lard tunderin’ Chris. I think ya dun short changed her. Maybe she’d like to read:

    http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Canadian_English#Regional_vocabularies

    And, make sure she doesn’t ask for a puck if she finds herself in Newfoundland:

    http://www.heritage.nf.ca/dictionary/

    puck n EDD ~ sb2 ‘a blow, esp a blow with the horns of a goat’ Ir; DINNEEN poc ‘a prod … of the horn.’ A blow; a butt (1896 Dial Notes i, 380).
    1968 DILLON 150 Boy, the cow gave me some puck, that time. I wouldn’t like to get a puck o’ her horns. P 76-70 I’ll give you a puck in the belly.

  2. “Allo” is from Quebec, and isn’t really used in France..great post!

  3. cmason2 says:

    So between these two comments, it becomes clear that I should be teaching people here a combination of Newfoundland English and Quebec French?

    Consider it done.

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