An Open Letter

Posted: October 20, 2007 in Blog

To every laundry machine I’ve ever used,

Hi guys. I know, I know, it’s been a while. I’ve been busy, really I have.

But just because I haven’t been sending postcards does not mean I haven’t been thinking of you all.

In fact you all have often been on my mind. Like this morning when I was kneeling over the bathtub hand-washing my laundry. How were you guys so good at getting the cuffs of my pants so spotless? My hand-washing just can’t compare to your spin cycles.

After more than three months of hand-washing all my laundry, I have a new-found appreciation for the work you guys do.

To the washing machine I used during my brief time on Sunnyside Avenue in Ottawa: I’m sorry I got mad at you when you bumped and skipped your way across the basement floor. You bump and skip all you want, friend. So long as your bumping and skipping means I don’t have to hand-wash my clothes.

To the washing machine I used in Toronto: Look, I know I used to get really mad when you wouldn’t properly drain after a rinse cycle. Oh man, did I ever get angry when I had to take a dripping-wet load of clothes upstairs to hang-dry because you forgot to drain. Can we maybe move past that? Sure you can be a tad forgetful.  And yeah, I had to hang-dry my clothes a few times, and once or twice even used an iron to get the last bits of a shirt I had to wear dry before leaving the house. But dammit, I never once had to hand-wash my clothes because of you.

To all the other laundry machines I have used: You’re all special. Very, very special.

With great, great, great affection,


p.s. Say hi to the dryers for me. And tell them I think of them every time I hang my clothes out to dry, wondering if it will pour rain the moment I leave the house. Because it usually does.

  1. Marie says:

    I know exactly, precisely what you mean. I felt like kissing the first washing machine I saw after my time in Uganda.

    Be careful–it’s possible to scratch the enamel on the bathtub with rivets on jeans.

  2. Kevin says:

    Oh sweet friends! How you left my hands delicate with skin un-scrubbed off! I miss you, too… and the extra two hours I had to waste watching junk TV!

  3. K says:

    I hope you are ironing those clothes after they dry because otherwise you’re gonna get mango flies!!! And they will bury into your skin and it will be gross.

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